didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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