Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
