If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
