She's like a pop up book from hell.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
