Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
