Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
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