you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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