The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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