i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
