I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
