I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
