Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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