omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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