Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Let the clothes fall where they may.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
