the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
