Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize