You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
