sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Randomize
