check it out our google latitudes are spooning
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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