I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I skipped work to stalk him.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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