We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
