how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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