You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
