I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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