I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
