I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
