I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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