Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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