If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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