yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Randomize