I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
this is an emotional support booty call
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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