im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
