Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
