last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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