An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize