Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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