am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
