We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
