is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
