no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
