what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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