cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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