Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
