did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize