Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
