I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
where are my eyebrows?
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