i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
We had sex on a dog bed..
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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