is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
