I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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