i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
