maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
