Are we in a gay sports bar?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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