Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
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