Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
