Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
