quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize