big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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