For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I would ride that face into the sunset
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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