Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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