and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
The feeling are messing with the penis
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
