just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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