Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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