From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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